How to Get a Girlfriend: 13 Ways that Actually Work

Here’s the reality — finding a girlfriend isn’t something that is going to happen overnight (unless you’re living in a Disney movie or a rom-com). But, there is good news. If you know the right steps on how to get a girlfriend, you can dramatically increase your chances of success and decrease how long it takes.

Here are 13 different steps you can try that have been proven to work.

1. Start by truly preparing for partnership.

While most of the other steps in this list of ways to get a girlfriend are about places to look and strategies to find one, the first step should always be making sure you’re ready. And no, we’re not about to talk you out of wanting to get a girlfriend. What we’re referring to is making sure you’ve done (or have at least started) doing things to better yourself and improve your chances of success.

While this is not an exhaustive list and you don’t have to do all (or any) of these things to be able to find a girlfriend, the idea is that the more you do (or at least start), the better your chances of success will be.

• Ensure you’re fully over any ex-girlfriends or past relationships that might interfere with a new relationship. 
• Prioritize your personal health. We hear all the time from single women that they’d love to meet a guy who takes good care of himself. 
• Prioritize your personal growth and happiness. One of the best ways to meet someone you align with is by pursuing things you love to do. Additionally, when you are pursuing hobbies and goals, it gives you more to talk about and more that someone may be interested in.

After you’ve reflected on these things, it’s time to start looking for someone! The next steps on how to get a girlfriend will include specific strategies for success and places you can look. Keep in mind that some of these may not apply to you, and that’s okay! Do the ones you are comfortable with and ignore the rest.

2. Ask your friends and family.

Letting your friends and family know that you’re single and interested in meeting someone can open doors you didn’t know existed. While you might think about being single all the time, those closest to you might have the perfect person in mind, but just aren’t aware that you’re looking or open to being set-up.

• Biggest Pro: Your family and friends already know you and can help gauge a good fit. Plus, this person may fit more seamlessly into your life, given the personal connection
• Biggest Con: It can feel awkward if they set you up with someone you’re not interested in. 
• Pro Tip: Whatever you do, don’t become too pushy when it comes to this. Let them know once that you’re single and would love to meet anyone they know that might be a good fit, and leave it at that. If they set you up, be respectful on the date. If it doesn’t work out, they will continue to keep you in mind for others. 

3. Hire a professional matchmaker.

While friends and family mean well, they’re most likely not experienced matchmakers. If you really want to see results when it comes to finding a girlfriend, you should consider hiring a professional matchmaker. 

Professional matchmakers have access to large networks of single women who are motivated to meet a partner and are highly skilled in helping people find exactly what they’re looking for. All you have to do is let them know what you’re looking for, and they handle the rest. 

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, we’d encourage you to check out what we’re doing here at Three Day Rule. We have a network of relationship-ready singles that’s over 250,000+ people, an 84% client satisfaction rate, and a team that is ready to help you find a truly compatible girlfriend and relationship.

If you’re interested in learning more, check out this Three Day Rule review of our services or schedule a free, no pressure call with a member of our team to learn more through the link below. At the very least, you can ask to be included in our network of singles for free!

• Biggest Pro: Women vetted specifically for you — meaning they are interested, available, and ready for something real.
• Biggest Con: Paid option (but great value). 
• Pro Tip: Be as open as possible with your matchmaker so they can do what they do best. 

4. Start volunteering.

Organizations are always looking for help when it comes to volunteering. While you should approach this with the primary goal of helping people and a secondary goal of meeting someone special, volunteering events tend to be filled with high-quality women who may be what you’re looking for in a girlfriend. 

• Biggest Pro: Opportunity to give back while trying to find a gf
• Biggest Con: You have no control over who does or does not show up to an event.
• Pro Tip: Genuinely focus on helping first. If you show up and it’s clear you’re there just to meet women, it’s going to sour the experience, and you’ll see no results.

5. Join a community rec league.

If you like sports or just being active, you can join a community recreation (rec) league. Often, you’ll find leagues for things like volleyball, soccer, softball, and even kickball. These leagues are often filled with women you can meet or men who might expand your friend group, which can lead to meeting someone who could become your girlfriend. 

The best part? You don’t even have to be good! There are some rec leagues that are competitive and others where players just play for fun.

• Biggest Pro: Fun and active way to meet women
• Biggest Con: Team selections are made by the luck of the draw.
• Pro Tip: Treat this as fun, not true competition if you’re looking to meet someone. The goal of this is to have fun, not to relive your high school glory days. 

6. Start attending art shows and cultural events.

If you’re wondering how to get a girlfriend who is interested in culture and the arts, you may want to start checking out local art shows and cultural events. These are great places to meet people, and there are almost always plenty of interesting things going on to make conversation easy.

• Biggest Pro: Filled with easy conversation starters
• Biggest Con: Not ideal if you’re not interested in art and culture
• Pro Tip: Don’t try to be a “know-it-all”. It’s okay to be honest if you’re just learning about something. Whether you know it all or not, acting like you do is never a good impression to make on someone who you might want to be your girlfriend.

7. Go to an open mic night.

Open mic nights tend to attract a unique crowd of people, both performers and crowd members. In between acts may be a great time to strike up a conversation and get to know someone new. As a bonus, if you are skilled in whatever the open mic night is for, you could perform!

• Biggest Pro: Generally, a relaxed environment where people are open to conversations. 
• Biggest Con: You will have to have the courage to start conversations on your own.
• Pro Tip: Try more than one open mic night, as they tend to be hit and miss on the size and makeup of the crowd.

8. Find a girlfriend at the gym.

If you like working out, the gym could be a great place to meet a girl who could become your girlfriend. You can try approaching someone you’re interested in in-between sets or join a group fitness class to make friends and potentially meet someone.

• Biggest Pro: If you’re into fitness, you and your potential girlfriend will share a similar lifestyle.
• Biggest Con: Some girls prefer to be left alone at the gym.
• Pro Tip: Be careful not to interrupt someone’s workout or be the person hitting on every single girl in the gym. Be polite, respectful, and selective. And if you’re shy, lean on group fitness classes.

9. Join a local group built around shared values, faith, or beliefs .

The more you surround yourself with people whom you connect best, the higher your chances of finding a girlfriend. Whether that’s a social group, a religious organization, or a cause, this is a great place to start.

• Biggest Pro: This helps to ensure anyone you meet is aligned with the way you view the world.
• Biggest Con: If it doesn’t work out with someone, these groups are often small, and it could get awkward.
• Pro Tip: Don’t just join these groups — get involved. The more time you spend doing events and connecting, the more people you’ll meet. 

10. Check out a local sporting event.

Sporting events are all about camaraderie, which make them a great place to meet someone who could become your girlfriend. Not only do you have opportunities to meet someone during the game, but pre-game and post-game activities can be very helpful, especially when you can use the game as the simplest of conversation starters.

• Biggest Pro: Even if you don’t meet someone, it’s fun.
• Biggest Con: Can be a less-ideal option if you’re not into sports at all.
• Pro Tip: These don’t have to be high-level sporting events. Sometimes going to events for more local, smaller teams can prove just as fruitful (if not more) in your search for love.

11. Use a dating app.

For the past 25+ years, online dating has been at the top of any list on how to find a girlfriend. While many have seen results, dating app burnout has started to become a real issue for a lot of singles. That said, if you’re looking for a fast way to potentially meet a girl who could become your girlfriend, you can always give them a try.

• Biggest Pro: Instant access to a lot of single women
• Biggest Con: Dating apps take a lot of time and mental energy.
• Pro Tip: Be prepared to pay for a premium service if you choose to use a dating app as you get what you pay for in most cases. Additionally, be sure to conduct some research on how dating apps may impact your happiness and mental health before getting started.

12. Pay more attention to your surroundings.

It’s important to note that you can realistically run into the woman of your dreams at any point in time. It could be on the subway, walking down the street, dropping off your rent payment — literally anywhere. But, many people miss these opportunities because they’re only in “find a girlfriend” mode when they’re out on the town at social events. If you can shift your thinking to be open to meeting someone at any point in time, you might be surprised by what you find.

• Biggest Pro: A shift in thinking is all that is needed to open up this opportunity.
• Biggest Con: The viability of this is dependent on how often you get out of the house.
• Pro Tip: Look up from your phone and don’t wear headphones. When you do this, you are sending a signal that you are not available to talk. Look up, smile, and start a conversation.

13. Reevaluate the people who are already in your life.

The last thing you should consider if you’re trying to figure out how to get a girlfriend is to take a second look at the girls who are already in your life. Is there someone you’ve never considered who might be sitting right in front of you? Is there someone you’ve always viewed as a friend who might actually be great gf material? The answer to this question may be ‘no’, but it’s absolutely worth considering.

• Biggest Pro: If there is someone, you already know them! 
• Biggest Con: If there is someone, you may have to risk things being awkward if you let them know how you feel.
• Pro Tip: Look for subtle signals that they’re interested. Does she smile a lot around you? Is there heavy eye contact? Touching? Flirting?

The Best Step to Finding a Girlfriend is the Next Step

Forgive the cheesiness of that line, but it’s the truth. The single best thing you can do to start getting closer to finding a girlfriend is to actually try!. Any one of these steps we outlined will allow you to treat dating more intentionally and could be the key to finding what you’re looking for.

And if you want some help from a professional, we’d encourage you to check out what we’re doing here at Three Day Rule! You can read what reviews are saying (and how it all works) or even better, use the link below to schedule a complementary phone call with our team to ask questions and feel out if it might be a good fit!